[WARNING: graphic images] Dengue diaries

The below are my own photos, not of patients I have worked with, but of myself.

On a hot summer night in August, after a night of walking around town and getting some ice cream, I came home expecting peaceful sleep.

About 1-2 am in the morning, I woke up with a slight itch. Hmm, perhaps nothing more than mosquito bites, I thought.

I tried to get back to sleep, but the itching continues. Perhaps it was too hot. I decided to get away from my somewhat stuffed bedding to sleep on the floor, where I have previously discovered the tiles to have a cooling effect. However, I continued tossing and turning on my pillow on the floor to no avail. The itching escalated.

While I normally tried to resist the scratching- as I know it only makes things worse- I went full on with scratching all over where I felt itching.

Finally, when it felt for sure there were scorpions under my skin, I could no longer take it and turned on the lights to check what was going.

[WARNING: images might be graphic]

I saw this...

and this...

and this.

Holy moly

😱

I thoughtfor sure this must be dengue. The conditions and the symptoms were too apt:

rainy season
hot tropical weather
lots of mosquitos
giant rashes
recent outbreak in the area

The more I looked into this online, the more I was convinced (never, ever do this). My pictures looked just like dengue rashes.

Oh wait, perhaps it could be chikungunya or even worse, ZIKA !

😱

I continued diagnosing myself as the rashes get worse.

I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE. It felt as if scorpions were crawling under my skin. I thought for sure I was going to die.

However, I decided that maybe it would go away, dressed myself in long clothing, and went to school the next day. I shared with my friend what was happening. He thought I was being paranoid until I showed him the evidence.

We both agreed that I should see the doctor.

I almost did not go because it was going to cost money, and at the time my scholarship money had not arrived yet. I thought about my situation then and how many others without health insurance or financial resource, the very people that I hope to help, I am one too.

I called a local dermatologist the very next day, and luckily was able to get an appointment on the same day. He assured me that they were just acute rashes, perhaps an allergic reaction to something in the environment or food. However, I did not eat anything new, well except that "nance fruit" ice cream flavor... but what kind of allergic reaction lasts for a week? I thought they go away after a few hours.

I sent my photos to a friend who is a medical student to help get to the bottom of the issue. She suggested heat rash and this made sense to me, given that I did not experience the symptoms of dengue (exhaustion and joint pains are also symptoms of Chikungunya and Zika so phew! we could rule those out). It still could have been an allergic to something.

Though we still don't know what caused the sudden eruption of rashes, the good news is that after one week the giant rashes disappeared. Thanks to the Fulbright Orientation timing, I was staying in a nice 5-star hotel with air conditioning and was eating good food - that must have helped the recovery process.

The moral of the story is best captured in a new Spanish phrase I learned:

"No te ahogues en un vaso de agua."

Which roughly translates literally to "Don't drown in a cup of water" and figuratively to "Don't make a big deal of of small issues."

Of course, my issue was actually pretty serious. However, I admit that I might have been a little - just a little – overly dramatic.🙄

From time to time, I would see some red bumps and experience mini panic attacks from fear of the return of the giant rashes. But fortunately (well, rather also unfortunately) those are mosquito bites. I've come to accept that mosquitoes here find my blood very delicious. I carry mosquito repellent to lather on myself everyday as if it's lotion. Though the poison from the repellent is also harmful, at least I reduce my risk of getting Denge, Chikungunya, or Zika.

More than anything, I am reminded of my mortality. I am grateful each day that I continue to be healthy, to be loved, and to be alive to tell my tale.

Until next time,

Vy